The Selfish Altruist

I wish I could lay claim to the term "Selfish Altruist" but it's the title of a book I just finished regarding us humanitarians and the mess-ups that we do in the name of saving the world. The title was probably my favorite part of the book.

In December I was drinking bear and playing poker with my siser at a Mexican in Marietta, Georgia. We got to talking with our fellow players, about where we went to high school and where we lived now. When they found out that I did aid work in the Congo, it's like you could see them visualizing me with a halo above my head. They let me know just how great they thought I was for doing what I do. Even though I had a beer in one hand and was trying to bluff my way out of a bad hand. Even though this is my job, just as father is a lawyer and my mother is a teacher, and they give to charities, doing their own part to make the world a better place. But the difference is that I was perceived as making a large sacrifice. I've never seen it as that - in my mind it's more a "questionable career decision" or "temporary moment of insanity" and who doesn't have those? So I particularly like the term selfish altruist because it captures the spirit of this work. If I were a complete altruist I could sell everything I own and work here for free. Heck no. I do this work because I want to make a difference in this world and because I like the challenges and new terrain that it involves. Both of these motives are highly personal, and they come back to my own needs in the end. And in the end, compassion and altruism are much harder to hold onto in this line of work because you get quite used to poverty and you start to really understand that many factors keep people and countries pooor - and you wonder why people as individuals, communities and governments are not doing more. You see that doing good is a business with competition for resources, good and bad bosses, and late nights in the office. You wonder at what point you will stop being an optimist, because if we don't believe that things will get better, then we will be forced to see our work a failure.

Above all, I think the element of self interest is necessary. We are only as good as our work. Good intentions are the same in this work as anywhere else. To really make a difference, you need to be motivated (your own self interest, which can be competive wages, trainings, etc) and work with effective organizations (their own interests to continue to receive governent and private funding). The UN Volunteer program relies heavily on the "volunteer spirit." I can tell you right now that if someone brought up in a staff meeting that we were all going to take a significant paycut this year but that "it's not about the money, right? it's about helping people! Volunteer spirit!" we'd promptly toss that person out the window (if it didn't have bars on it). Perhaps I should just hit delete and keep on being an angel.